Baboon Furnace Blog

This is a little experiment.

We've had ourselves our own forum for quite some time, and we'd like to branch out. There's been much talk of starting a blog, and now we're finally giving it a try. Please pardon our dust while we experiment with how to make this format work.

Over the past 10 days or so, a few major Supreme Court decisions were passed down. These were simultaneously not as big of a deal as some people will have you believe and a much bigger deal that some people will have you believe. The internet is fun like that. I, true to form, am somewhere down the middle. The true impact of these decisions is unclear, and a lot depends on what happens in the next few elections.

But first the disclaimers. I am an attorney. That does not mean any of this is...

Something stuck out to me last night as I watched two geriatrics stumble their way through a presidential debate. Donald Trump routinely brought up Ronald Reagan. It was a pretty transparent attempt to appeal to traditional conservatives. Maybe it works, I’m not tuned closely enough to understand those mechanics.

For purposes of this article, I’m going to look past the fact that Reagan is one of the 5 worst presidents in American history. You can look at tons of charts and see his harm...

It’s time. The gerontocracy cannot continue. I just watched two old men embarrass themselves on national television. Sure, as a committed liberal, I think President Biden did marginally better if only because he wasn’t spewing proto-fascist lies and fear mongering to whip up his supporters into a frenzy. But Biden wasn’t exactly sharp, either, and did not have the ability to call out Trump on his BS.

But it’s not just the presidential race. Chuck Grassley is 90 years old and still has four...

An open letter to the Republican Party, generally, and specifically, Representative Ann Wagner:

I am sitting here writing this letter following what I believe is Leader McCarthy’s 8th failed attempt to become Speaker of the House. It may actually be the 7th, or perhaps the 9th, the repetitiveness of the votes makes it hard to keep track. At this point, I think that it’s fair to say that Leader McCarthy simply doesn’t have the votes. If he is confused as to the ramifications of that, I would...

It is November 2022. Election Day, as a matter of fact, but that's not directly relevant to this post. At the start of the month, I reached 42 years of age. I do not expect this to be my last birthday, but at the rate things are going, I expect it to be near the last. This isn't because of a terminal disease, or mental health issues, or anything like that. I believe this is the case because I fully expect to die as a result of Random Political Violence sometime within the next three years...

I like guns. I really do. They’re fun to shoot. I’ve never gone hunting, but I would be more than willing to try out duck hunting. Not deer hunting. I’m not patient enough, but duck hunting? Definitely. Shooting at ranges is fun. Trap, skeet, hunting clays? A great time. I don’t own a gun, but I’ve considered buying a shotgun and going shooting more often. Long story short, I like guns.

We need gun control. At this point it’s inarguable. If you’re a Republican, by now you’ve probably...

All politics are local. And my local politics suck. That might not be entirely fair to the truly local politics, but on a statewide level, Missouri has managed to go from bellwether to bottom of the barrel. I know I’ve written mostly about national issues thus far, but if you will indulge me for a while, this will at least touch on national issues. On another note, apologies for missing last week – life happens.

If you haven’t heard, Senator Roy Blunt (R-MO) is joining a long line of...

If you haven’t heard, Dr. Seuss is canceled and it is all the Democrats fault. The canceling has gotten so bad that Dr. Seuss’ remaining books are rocketing to the top of the best seller lists. Conservatives are posting pictures of themselves reading the books on Twitter. I’m just glad they are reading books. For those who have made it this far in life without hearing about this story, first of all, I’m jealous, but here are the cliff notes. The Dr. Seuss Foundation, which owns the...

At first it seemed like a joke. Pictures popped up on Twitter of a man in glasses bearing a resemblance to Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) at the airport getting ready to board a flight to Cancun just days after a winter storm ravaged Texas, killing over 40 people and leaving many Texans without consistent electricity or clean water. The first pictures were grainy, from an odd angle, and rather unclear as to whether the man was actually the Senator. Sure, it was fun to imagine, to poke fun at the...

The power failed in Texas. On one of the coldest days in Texas in recorded history, the power failed in Texas. Millions were left without power and heat as the cold and snow froze Texas. In Houston, people were erecting tents inside their own bedrooms in hopes of containing body heat with temperature in the teens. Casualties seem inevitable, but even if all Texans somehow come through unscathed, this will have been an avoidable embarrassment. Yet Republicans are all too happy to shift the...

It’s almost a shame.

It’s almost a shame that the namesake of this award, the Baboon Furnace Rudy Giuliani Political Turkey of the Year, has been deemed perpetually ineligible for the reward due to his propensity for turkeying things up. After all, he has hit some remarkable highs (lows?) during even just the last six weeks. Who else managed to book a press conference at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping Company, attend a press conference where his hair dye ran down his face, spread myriad...

J.H. Covington
27 August 2020

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"We appreciate you being here."

Police officers offered water to and thanked disorganized militia for volunteering their own time, and guns and bullets and reactionary cowardice, to the cause of defending property in Kenosha, Wisconsin.

Protests had been ongoing throughout the day. Two evenings earlier, Jacob Blake had been shot seven times in the back by a police officer, paralyzing him...